How to reset boundaries with a work friend who just became your boss

One day... you and your work ‘bestie’ are grabbing coffee and venting about office drama.

The next, they’re sitting across from you in a leadership meeting, setting deadlines and reviewing your performance.

Awkward? Maybe. Doable? Absolutely.

If your friend has just been promoted to be your manager, it’s natural to feel a mix of emotions - pride, uncertainty, maybe even jealousy.

And while things will inevitably shift, this transition doesn’t have to be weird or difficult.

The key is approaching it with professionalism, self-awareness, and some strategy.

Van Beek explains how these strategies can help you navigate the new situation and set boundaries for the relationship:

1) Accept that things will change (and that’s okay)

It’s tempting to pretend that nothing has changed, but the truth is, it has.

Your friend now has new responsibilities, new pressures, and likely a different perspective.

They may need to create some professional distance to lead effectively.

That doesn’t mean they no longer value your friendship - just that they must navigate a new role.

2) Reset expectations and boundaries

If your new manager or boss doesn’t initiate a conversation about your new dynamic, take the lead. A simple, "Hey, I know this is a shift for both of us. I want to make sure we navigate it in a way that works well for you and the team," can go a long way in setting a positive tone.

3) No favourites, just fairness

One of the biggest mistakes people make is expecting favouritism from their newly promoted friend.

You might assume you’ll get more flexibility, better projects, or an easier ride.

But your friend-turned-manager likely wants to show they can be fair and impartial. Expect to be treated like everyone else on the team.

4) Support their success

Stepping into a leadership role is tough.

Your friend is probably navigating imposter syndrome, pressure from above, and the challenge of managing former peers. Instead of making it harder, be an ally.

Offer support, give constructive feedback, and help make their transition smoother.

5) Don’t be a 'yes person'

When someone moves into management, they often start receiving a lot more flattery and a lot less honest feedback.

Be the person who tells the truth - respectfully yet candidly.

If you see something they could improve or a decision that might backfire, offer your perspective thoughtfully.

6) If there’s tension, address it early

If your friend’s promotion brings up unresolved tensions or competitiveness, don’t let resentment fester.

Have an honest conversation about how you can work well together. If necessary, involve HR or a mentor to help navigate the change professionally.

Remember, keep it professional during working hours.