How to deal with matric disappointment
Sara-Jayne Makwala King speaks to counsellor Genevieve Burrow about how learners and parents can deal with matric results disappointment.
For the class of 2023, the Matric results is a critical moment - one that can change their course of their lives.
Matric is a major rite of passage for South African young people and for some there was jubilation and celebration, but sadly, for others there will be disappointment.
Parents, grandparents and other caregivers should find ways to support a learner who either failed or didn't do as well as they’d hope.
Genevieve Burrow, a registered counsellor and manager at The Youth Hub at Groote Schuur Hospital Adolescent Centre of Excellence shares some advice.
"Parents naturally experience a range of emotions when faced with disappointment but its important to respond in a constructive manner. This erodes a teenagers self worth and self esteem. Your children will have a host of emotions and being punitive with exacerbate those emotions."
-Genevieve Burrow, The Youth Hub registered counsellor and manager
As parents, we often tend to project our own expectations onto our children. Burrow believes this needs greater introspection.
"Why do we want our children to conform to the way we feel they should behave and achieve. That introspection is important to understand why we want our children to be the way we want them to be."
-Genevieve Burrow, The Youth Hub registered counsellor and manager
A matriculant who receives unexpectedly disappointing results needs non-punitive behaviour and more emotional support.
Even though parents carry their own natural disappointment, Burrow says children are more disappointed.
Parents need to have compassion and understanding, and allow them to express their feelings, while holding our own judgements.
"Reassure them that we want to support them regardless. Academic performance is just one element of who they are as a person. It's not definitive to who they are. Be open and honest and give them a space to discuss their thoughts. Listen to what they need from you instead of telling them what to do. Be realistic in terms of your goals and expectations. Don't blame the person and avoid negative language. Reassure them that you still love them."
-Genevieve Burrow, The Youth Hub registered counsellor and manager
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