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Ellie Goulding: Music saved my life

The 31-year-old singer doesn't know if she'd 'be here today' if she didn't have her talent because she's always turned to it when the going gets tough.

Ellie Goulding. Picture: Instagram/@elliegoulding

LONDON - Ellie Goulding believes she owes her life to music because it saved her from dark depression.

The 31-year-old singer - who has battled with panic attacks in the past - doesn't know if she'd "be here today" if she didn't have her talent because she's always turned to it when the going gets tough as she found it to be a form of therapy for her nerves.

Speaking to The Sun newspaper, she said: "From a very young age music was absolutely everything to me. It was the ultimate companion - the strongest remedy for any kind of pain or sadness. Often it was the only way I'd be able to say what I wanted to say or describe how I was feeling . . . so, to not have it in my life, I don't even know if I'd be with you guys today."

Goulding previously said her anxiety peaked when she shot into the limelight in 2010.

She said: "My life completely changed when my career started taking off in 2010. I was thrilled, of course - sharing my music with the world was a dream I'd been working toward for years -but it was a lot all at once. Suddenly, I was living alone in London and everything was happening so fast.

"I started having panic attacks, and the scariest part was it could be triggered by anything. I used to cover my face with a pillow whenever I had to walk outside from the car to the studio. My new life as a pop star certainly wasn't as glamorous as all my friends from home thought.

"Secretly, I was really struggling physically and emotionally. I think part of what sparked my panic attacks was not feeling confident enough to believe in myself - I was scared I wasn't as good of a singer as everyone thought I was. And as the stakes grew, I was afraid of letting everyone, including myself, down."