The best of Joan Rivers
The 81-year-old American was known for her take-no-prisoners brand of comedy.
JOHANNESBURG - American comedy legend Joan Rivers passed away in a New York hospital at the age of 81 on Thursday.
She was known for her take-no-prisoners brand of comedy, which broke barriers at the time.
Here are some of her most memorable and often controversial quotes, jokes and jabs.
ON OSCAR PISTORIUS
When refering to pop star Christina Aguilera's blonde hair with knotty cornrow braids: "The last time I saw a blonde with red streaks in her hair she was laying on Oscar Pistorius's bathroom floor."
"I have not seen footwear this f*cked-up since Oscar Pistorius wobbled to the witness stand."
During an episode of _Fashion Police _on E!, Rivers called a star's outfit a bad idea that "falls in between marrying Charlie Sheen and using Oscar Pistorius's bathroom."
ON ELIZABETH TAYLOR
"Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds."
"Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory."
"Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin."
"I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die, they will donate my body to Tupperware."
"My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus [luxury specialty department store] - that way, I'd visit him every day."
ON LOVE AND SEX
"She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees."
"No man will ever put his hand up your dress looking for a library card."
"My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark."
"Don't talk to me about Valentine's Day. At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!"
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, "The man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds."
"My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese. Most of it's missing and what's there stinks."
"I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked."
"People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made."
"Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be. "
"Looking fifty is great - if you're sixty."
"I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio."
" All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window."