Mangaung: cheeky Chester's take

Matshidiso Madia Matshidiso Madia

The adults may argue.

No, the humans might argue. People might go back and forth, passing comments on what’s to be expected, what’s lacking and who should be behind the steering wheel as South Africa journeys to and past the Manguang district. But none of the analysts, politicians and ordinary Joes explain the political landscape quite like South Africa’s most loved puppet, Chester Missing. Call it political satire, real life analysis or even the ramblings of a silly dummy - he holds nothing back.

 Here’s Chester’s 5 cents’ worth on the ruling party’s upcoming electoral conference:

Local puppet Chester Missing

•    “Certain individuals” is a term you should be well accustomed to by now or will be hearing a lot of, especially in reference to the ousted African National Congress Youth League leader Julius Malema

•    “The ANC will see more factions than Blade Nzimande’s face”

•    Chester compares the tripartite Alliance to the now defunct international pop group Destiny’s Child, with COSATU being viewed as the group’s star; Beyonce

•    On the relationship between the ANCYL and the mother body he says, “The Youth League putting Jacob Zuma in power, then complaining about him, is kind of like complaining about your own fart”. He adds “President Zuma’s solidified his win at the conference by kicking out all the youth league guys … so ironic considering that the ANC says they’re trying to create 5 Million jobs yet they’re kicking out all the young black people!”

•    He also had a few things to say about the presidential spokesperson. “If Mac Maharaj was anymore out of touch with the youth of SA they would name an old age home after him.” He carries on saying “Mac Maharaj is walking around with a box of race cards.”

•    For Chester, Mangaung translates to U na Manga-ung (you’re a liar).

•    “Zuma’s successfully built up massive support in the right places. In the ANC, KZN is strong and big, kind of like the America of the ANC, with Nkandla as Disney land”

•    Because no one is spared the biting remarks from this little puppet, Chester says the Democratic Alliance reminds him of magician David Blaine, “Full of grandstanding gestures. They do things just to get attention.”

•    Of the United Democratic Movement he says he doesn’t view them as much of an opposition party. “They’re more like a Facebook group, aren’t they?”

•    Bringing his thoughts back to Manguang, Chester says he doesn’t see too many changes taking place in the ANC after the conference, “but I do think there’ll be a ministerial shake up of sorts. Fikile Mbalula will be lucky if he has a job!”

•    And beyond 2012 he says, “People are scared that if they vote for the DA, apartheid will come back the same way as the Americans were scared that if they voted for Romney, slavery would come.

Backtrack signage